Labels are controversial in any community and, I would say, especially within the LGBTQ subculture. Labels can be seen as boxes, defining one-self within limits, effectively restraining one’s actions within prescribed stereotypes and pigeonholing ourselves. Especially when used by those not within the LGBTQ subculture, some labels can be seen as offensive.I can only comment on labels within the lesbian and queer subcultures as that is the scene I have travelled in myself, but they are present within the gay, bi and trans- subcultures too:
Lesbian, Lipstick lesbian, Femme, Butch, Stone butch, Sporty dyke, Dyke, Soft butch, Chapstick lesbian, Pillow queen, Stud, Diesel dyke and Stone femme are labels in use within the lesbian and queer community (the list is not exhaustive, there are many more!!).
But I think that labels don’t need to be prescriptive, I think they can be empowering!
We live with labels, whether or not we like it! We are daughters, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives, friends, etc... these are ALL labels. Labels are necessary to know what’s inside when the outside doesn't describe who we are.
Reclaiming words such as dyke has been seen as a positive step in LGBTQ equality and I see other labels as useful tools, making it possible to accurately position oneself within the LGBTQ community and to find partners and a dynamic that one seeks. Others within a certain community understand who one is and what one identifies as and can go by that information.I am a queer femme. I have a clear label that I embrace and live within, loudly. I defend my right to label myself and when dating I date within a community that understands my identity. This does not mean I am a stereotype.
What is a femme? To some the term might represent a lesbian woman who dresses and acts in a way that society considers typically feminine, to others femmes surpass mainstream femininity (although they can also be labelled a high femme). Others define a femme as a feminine woman attracted to extremely masculine women (butches) or transguys. This is where I fit and I do not feel pressured to constantly wear makeup, skirts and high heels.
Take the term dyke as a further (maybe more practical) example. What is a dyke to you? A lesbian woman? Someone with short hair, tattooed and pierced, with a chained wallet and grungy look? A young lesbian? Does a dyke wear dresses? Skirts? Is she a soft butch using a modern label? The definitions are broad and evolving, they are different for each person and within each friendship group, area and greater context. I considered myself a dyke for years and I didn’t fit within any of those definitions.I am a queer femme who dates and has dated transguys, butches, gender queers and bois and my label: 1) situates me within the queer community; 2) shows the subculture I fall within, and 3) at least gives a broad idea of the context within which I date. My label empowers me and does not confine me within any box.
Do you label yourself? What is your view of labels? Do you see them as prescriptive stereotypes or useful tools?
An interesting link with further discussion:
· http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sisters_talk/2009/08/23/lesbian-labels-we-love-to-hate--she-said-she-said-episode-6 A podcast about the use of labels within the LGBTQ community. If you are easily offended please do not listen to it.
(P.s. this really much better if you click on the title of this post and read it then).
